Inter-Household Dog Conflict
By Benah Stiewing
Just like people, not all dogs get along! Some people are your best friends, other people are your acquaintances, and some people you just don’t like - and that’s okay! Unfortunately, we can’t always predict which dogs are going to get along great and which ones won’t. Whether you’re visiting friends or have recently added a new dog to your family, experiencing conflict between dogs within a household is challenging and often exhausting. Worrying about preventing or breaking up a fight can leave you tense and constantly on alert. In this post, we’re going to talk about handling inter-household dog conflict, but if you’d like to learn more about preventing inter-household conflict, check out this podcast episode from Pawsitively Dog-Powered! Please note: if there are dogs in your household regularly experiencing conflict that escalates into lunging, snapping, or biting, we strongly recommend seeking professional help from a certified trainer.
In order to prevent conflict escalation, it’s important that you’re able to recognize the early warning signals your dog gives. These communication methods are called calming signals, or sometimes called cut-off signals because they embody the dog’s desire to de-escalate. The vast majority of dogs are not inherently aggressive and do not want to engage in violent behavior, so will do their best to diffuse a situation before it escalates. Below is a list of some common calming signs. When studying dog communication, it’s important to understand that just like us, dogs are nuanced and contextual. Your dog yawning doesn’t always mean they are stressed - they could also be tired! It’s important to look at the whole body and make an assessment of your dog’s emotional state based on the big picture.
Calming Signs:
Lip licking: dog licks their lips or flick their tongue out from their mouth.
Yawn: dog yawns, sometimes with their lips more curled back.
Turning away: dog turns their head away from the person/dog that is making them nervous.
Raised paw: dog slightly raises a front paw.
Stiff body: dog’s muscles tense and movement slows.
Tail raised: dog’s tail goes half-mast or slightly higher, maybe with a slow wag.
Shake off: dog shakes off entire body.
Pay attention to your dog’s body language over the next few days, and start to notice what calming signals they display. Once we understand how to read when our dog is becoming agitated, it’s easier to intervene earlier before behavior escalates. If you notice your dog yawning and lip licking when another dog comes close, ask your dog for a known behavior or say their name to help them create distance from the other dog. Reinforce your dog if they’re able to walk away and perform the behavior you asked for. We want your dog to know that they can create the distance they need to feel comfortable, and that we are their advocate and will help them create that distance when it’s needed. You want your dog to know that you hear, see, and will respond to their early warning signals that they’re feeling uncomfortable. If you’d like to learn more about calming signals, click here to watch a brief documentary from celebrated behaviorist, Turid Rugaas!
Management:
When handling inter-household dog conflict, we always want to focus on quality or quantity when it comes to time spent together. When you have multiple dogs, it’s quite normal for those dogs to spend 24/7 together. They eat together, exercise together, sleep together. Just like people, your dog is bound to get sick of spending that much time with someone! It’s critical that you create time and space for your dogs to do activities alone, like solo walks or solo cuddle time (if cuddling is something they enjoy). Have a dedicated activity that you all do together, like going for a walk with both dogs, or playing with toys out in the yard. When your dogs are spending time together, remember to look for signs of stress (as described above) and immediately end the experience if they start to arise. We want the stressed dog to know that those early warning signs will be noticed and responded to, so they don’t need to escalate to aggressive behavior to create the space they need. It’s critical that your dog trusts you to be their advocate, so they don’t have to.
We want to make sure your dogs always have the space to feel comfortable and secure, whether they’re with other dogs or alone. To ensure this, we want to bring in management! We can use objects like ex-pens, baby gates, crates, leashes, and muzzles to create a comfortable environment. We can use ex-pens, crates, and baby gates to provide separation and allow for each dog to have time apart. In the photos below, you’ll see one such separation! Cosmo is very selective when it comes to other dogs, so this was his set-up while visiting some friends who had dogs of their own. He has his crate, which is a safe and familiar space for him, surrounded by an ex-pen covered with a blanket. This way, Cosmo has three barriers of protection if he starts to feel unsafe - the blanket blocking his view, the ex-pen, and his crate. Keep in mind that this set-up is specific to Cosmo’s needs. For other dogs, we might have removed the chair and used a taller ex-pen.Your set-up is going to be specific to your dogs and what they need to feel comfortable.
Training Support for Inter-Household Dog Conflict:
Supporting you and your dogs is our passion! We understand how challenging conflict in your home can be, and we are here to help. Private lessons are an excellent way to work on the relationship between your dogs, with an individualized training program created for you and your specific situation. Private training is available in-person in Fort Collins, CO, Hudson, NY, and everywhere virtually! If private lessons aren’t an option for you on this set of behavior challenges, we highly recommend this online course by our colleague Katie at Wise Mind Canine, who specializes in multi-dog households!
Summit Dog Training offers group dog training classes & private lessons in Fort Collins, Colorado, as well as online self-study courses & online private lessons for education on how to live the best life with your dog! If you are looking for more training support, please don’t hesitate to contact us! We’d love to help you and your dog get ready for any adventure.